*Valkyrie rides into the room*

knorrasky wrote:I must ask though that you not allow your horse on our new carpet.

We just had to replace it after a couple of our fantasy characters kicked
the s**t out of a few twilight vampires. And what a pile of S**T it was!

Ryan's bad. I apologise.

Hi. I'll be sure to keep my horse in the menagerie-approved areas, then. Also: I'd pay to watch that fight. Er, whipping.

I must ask though that you not allow your horse on our new carpet.

We just had to replace it after a couple of our fantasy characters kicked
the s**t out of a few twilight vampires. And what a pile of S**T it was!

Yeah, you know when you switch it on, it'll blow that blue sparkly stuff out the back and fly around the room with you dangling on the handle for dear life.

You can fly, you can fly, you can flyyyyyy!

Mmmm, power vaccuum...

I fear such a spell will only repel those aged about 16 and under, with notable exceptions. Though that's basically a whole generation there, and has lots of potential, if you can find a way to harness their power. Their...sparkly...goo-goo-eyed...fangirl-scream...power...yeah...never mind. Better to just go for that power vacuum option.

Thank you kindly.

Now to create my world domination - I mean anti-Twilight vampire repellent spell. (Good cover up there, DA... very slick.)

Now, I'm not too sure, as I've not gotten close enough to check for myself, but I thought the suckers had white sparkles. And that they attacked animals...ohh, wait. There was some shifty little guy who looked like death warmed over, who stumbled into my path in the dark forest. He started drooling at my horse, the little freak. I thought my trusty steed had just stomped him to death, but it may have taken a bite or two as well.

Payback and all that.

I suspect that magical pile can be used as an ingredient in any number of efficacious concoctions and spells. *hands it over in a nice clean baggie*

Sure your horse didn't bump into a couple of Twilight vampires on the way? You might want to give their glitter back... gimme that horse contribution...

by asking that question, Val, you have asked. I will send the invite to your email address.

Thanks, wargood. That was actually *"a magical pile of Navajo horses**t", so its blue, sparkly appearance is nothing to be concerned about, and doesn't reflect on anything my trusty steed has consumed lately. Okay, the sparkles are probably fairy dust; he ate one of Tink's friends on the way over here.

*anyone remember that movie?

Also, I'd be happy to get to level 1. How does that work?

Welcome Valkyrie! Your horse has left a deposit on the rug. Anyone who refs the Holy Hand Grenade in their intro is alright by me!

I've got a few reject letters from agents, but they're just flesh wounds. Get on Level 1 and check the monthly challenges, and you'll see I like both fantasy and SF. Whether or not I can write it well is your call...
Pleased to have you aboard and looking forward to reading your stuff.

Don't worry about your horse's contribution, I'll get it.
*scoops up horse poo and deposits it in proper receptacle: in between Harry Potter and romance novels.*

Hi Val

Glad you joined us. Give us the word, and we are happy to invite you into our inner sanctum - level 1, and beyond. Anyone who has a book contract with us is open to most of our 7-tier sites!

(Lis, if you are reading this, you are certainly invited to Level 1 - I have read some of your material!)

Val - I have read a fair number of your stories and I am impressed. We hope to have a long and prosperous relationship with you.

Gez

Hey Val - read a bit of your novel and saw your cover art and I admit, I'm impressed. You might know me better as Esme, but here I'm Stella (a bizarre preference of mine, I dunno).

I write sci-fi-fantasy, fantasy and something I like to call the 'individual quest genre', which is hard to explain. I probably has a name somewhere...

I got a little lost on your last para there but, hi! Grats on the publication offer and I wish the best of luck for you. Keep yourself around these parts.

Hello, everyone. I'm Valkyrie, or just Val. I've been writing fantasy for over two decades now. I hope I've improved some, like wine and cheese, with age.

I write mostly adventure fantasy nowadays. My novel, "The Wicked Heroine", is of this ilk, and has kindly been accepted for publication by IFWG. See the moon up there? *points* That's me over it.

I've got a few short stories out there in the ether under my pen name, Jasmine Giacomo. Here's a couple:
http://blacklanternpublishinghome.blogspot.com/
http://www.resaliens.com/2009/10/the-bee-stone/

I enjoy reading fantasy books over every other genre, though I do enjoy those British murder mysteries. Sci-fi can be awesome, and historical fiction is always entertaining. I love "what if"s. Romance and horror are like counting to five when holding the Holy Hand Grenade, though. Combining them creates bizarre spawn that sparkle in the sunlight: someone call Blade!