How Much Lingo?

I got a critique by a reader for a steampunk short story I wrote (Halo in the Sky, for those in the know) on Storywrite, where the reader was inane. I had a space ship made of brass and teakwood land on Earth, following an interstellar trip. It uses anti-gravity forces invented (roughly in 1880s) and the vast distances are handled by "halos" - jump points.

Despite describing slow descent to earth, etc, in gory detail, I was criticised for having a teakwood spaceship that would surely burn up in the atmosphere. Sheesh.

On explaining the physics of friction, I was criticised for not explaining enough, and that most readers wouldn't 'get it'. I decided to leave it at that point, not explaining that target readers - steampunkers, and other sci fi flexibles, would in fact 'get it'.

I'll buy that, Skip, and keep it in mind next time I'm using real science...on the other hand, even a nastygram says that at least they read it...

I know something of the psychological impact. My mother lived through the Blitz in London. If she hears on TV the sound of an air raid siren or, worst of all, the sound of a doodlebug (V1) engine followed by it cutting out, she'll become completely ashen with terror... almost 70 years later.

But yeah, it would be like the saying that if you hear the gun shot, the bullet already missed you. I expect such siren's would get the nickname dud-sirens.

Aww, you caught that did you?

Actually I did as well later and it was never implemented in the story, but think of the delayed psychological effects if the nukes didn't go off. (Lame attempt at an excuse.)

Well now that you bring it up, Skip...

I bit back on commenting on the usefulness of adding Stuka-style trumpets to bombers travelling eight times faster than the speed of sound.

[quote=.....
DA's advice is dead-on. Explain what you want to, but you don't need a doctorate in astrophysics-most of your readers don't have one either (and those who do aren't going to e-mail you a nastygram for your inaccuracies).[/quote]

Actually, that's not quite accurate. (Taken from the Independence Day movie) I did receive a nasty because my idea for FTL violated the latest theories in Quantum Physics. It was from a senior high school kid. True, she didn't go to a D.C. public school and wasn't being taught by party line teachers but I checked and her point was valid so I changed my idea for FTL.

Also on Storywrite I was called out for a wrong force multiplier/acceleration calculation I did involving compound bow ranges by a young lady in India. I had made a mistake in the formula. If you do try to use some valid science they are watching and will call you on it. At the same time if you use something totally inane they probably won't, some will just put it down and walk away.

If you can maintain the story and not use some sort of hard science it probably isn't anything I am interested in either. The idea of a Sponge Bob on steroids jumping through space warps and killing the deadly rhubarb invaders with bazooka's doesn't trip my trigger. Oh wait, i did a story on killer Rhubarb already.

I called a whole chapter 'anomoly'. It's an ace word.

I like the word "anomaly", which was used in practically every episode of Star Trek, TNG. I think I'll challenge myself to write an entire book in which I use "anomaly" in every paragraph

*heavily mochifies her own coffee* Tsk. No one gets that the bad guys have to stick together just as much as the good guys to get ahead.

At least during their coffee break.

*still at a safe distance* I smell coffee...would have expected blood or nectar of shadow...maybe they're really not that evil...

I had an eerie premonition you'd say that and mean it. Well, far be it from me to murder you on accident. *passes the coffee*

I'm allergic to milk. Pass me the black coffee instead.

*levitates the milk in D/A's direction* Don't forget this.

Hmm. Guess more cookies for me then.

Cookies?! I love cookies! yumyumyumyum....
NO!! EVIL TEMPTRESSES! DOWN WITH VENGENACE FROM THE SHADOWS AND PLUCKERS OF DEAD VIKING SOULS! I RESIST YOUR EVIL! BE STRONG, WARRIOR OF LIGHT!
I Resist, I Will Not Bow...ooh, are those chocolate chips? maybe just one...NOOOO!!! UNCLEAN, UNHOLY, UN-AHHHhhhh... *runs screaming from the room, then shouts back from a safe distance: "I will stop you!"

My apprentice-with-delusions-of-grandeur has a good point. If there is only ever one way to get things done in a book, then it's not very interesting in terms of making decisions, and the emotional consequences thereof.

So why not try the Side of Insufficient Light? We have cooler costumes.

Valkyrie wrote:

Ahh...a challenge.

(+1 for the force/Force)

I'm slick like that That's why I have to be the boss.

And WG, there's always another way... join us... (we have cookies!)

Damn! the Forces of unicorns, lollipops and knights on white horses already had enough to contend with. Now we got two of 'em! And unicorns flat out suck at the fighting part!
I'm on to youse, ladies. I will thwart your evil plots somehow...

Ahh...a challenge.

(+1 for the force/Force)

... How about I force you?

If you have to ask, then no. Evil bosses don't ask anyone anything.

You have much to learn, my young apprentice.

(Dang, where's that Starwars emoticon when you need it? )

Hmm... I'll think about your... offer...

Can I be the boss?

I don't believe our evil plans need be mutually exclusive. The good guys are always teaming up, after all...

Ah-ha, you're very much mistaken if you think that's part of your evil plan.

TheDarkAvenger wrote:

Valkyrie wrote:
I really enjoy the soft sci fi better, though. Character driven sci fi rocks.

I think I like you.

*steeples fingers*

Ehhhhxcellent.